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Vol.19
Tips for child rearing. |
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Whether it is because I’m
way into my 60s now, I
sometimes have people asking me
for tips in raising children.
As I listen to their
stories, I have become
painfully aware how difficult
it is to raise children in a
nuclear family.
I understand that mobile
phones, computer games, shop
lifting, bullying, etc. can
individually be serious
problems, but it is not
impossible to resolve them if
parents continually rack their
brains to find the best
solutions. Nonetheless, I feel
that there is an underlying
wish of the parents at the
heart of these individual
problems: the wish to put their
children into prestigious
universities.
It is all
well in cases where parents can
tactfully lead their talented
children to entering top
universities. The reality is,
however, that it is often the
case that parents force their
children to study and it
backfires. Cases of geniuses
being born from ordinary
parents, as in the Japanese
proverb “kites breed hawks,”
are rare. Financial backup has
also been an issue in recent
years.
When considering
the distribution of abilities
at a state level, in my opinion
the sufficient percentage of
students completing
universities and graduate
schools should be 20% to 30%.
If we think of the role of
universities, today’s trend of
burning out after successfully
passing the university entrance
exams and wanting to just enjoy
the social life once entering
university seems preposterous.
I believe that only those who
really want to study should go
to university.
I
understand that parents like to
have high hopes for their
children, judging from the
present family structure of
having only one or two.
Nevertheless, there are a
considerable number of cases of
parents spoiling the children’s
future by placing excessive
expectations on them.
While they are at elementary
school age, children should be
allowed to play a lot to
develop stamina and athletic
abilities. Parents can also
determine the children’s skills
and abilities. In addition,
parents should discipline their
children at home. It is the
least they can do as their
duty.
Children should
willingly greet people they
know. They should care for
their elders and offer seats on
buses and trains. They should
not trouble others and take
responsibility for their own
actions. It is important that
these ideas, among others, are
instilled into the children. In
order to do so, it is essential
for the parents to put these
ideas into practice in front of
their children.
This
type of home discipline is what
the modern society needs most,
and would be highly valued.
If you stop having high
hopes for your children and
muster the courage to let the
children’s talent and
independence steer their
course, I believe that 80 to 90
percent of problems related to
child rearing can be solved..
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